So I guess I'll actually tell you about myself. In my senior pictures from High School, I'm wearing one silver hoop earring and holding a football. My mother still displays this picture proudly in her home which is awesome because not only do all of my parents' visitors get to see how cool I was/am, but it's always an ego boost for me when I visit. Now I know what most of you are thinking, "that is pretty sweet, but I'm gonna need to hear more before I form my opinion." Don't worry, I got you.
As we get older, we get wiser and I'm certainly no exception to that rule. That's why when I was a sophomore (?) or maybe even a junior in college, I took the next step toward ultimate wisdom: double piercings in BOTH ears. That's right, friends, a whopping four cubic zirconia studs on my head. Straight icy. I thought, rather I knew I was the man. Don't believe me? You don't think it's possible for a mere mortal to be THAT cool? Feast your eyes on this:
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| They said it couldn't be done. Swag, YOLO. |
Double studs complemented by the most douchebag facial hair possible, the ultra thin chinstrap. Some of my other notable accomplishments have been: Rocking a women's athletic headband when my hair was entirely too short to be doing so, getting a tribal tattoo featuring the word "strength," getting another tattoo of another word, telling people I can dunk when we all know I really can't, pretending to wipe sweat off my forehead with the bottom of my shirt just to check out my mediocre abs at the gym, and plenty of other things that legends are made of.
Sadly, all of these things are legitimately true. When I began writing this bio, it was all fun and games. I hope you all enjoyed it because now I just hate myself. I'm Mike, but who even cares anymore?
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