Krispy Kreme is giving you 12 free doughnuts, if you buy 12. -By Ryan

health food

Apparently today is "Super Hero Day", according to Krispy Kreme Doughnuts.  What does that mean? Well It means that if you buy a dozen, they'll give you an extra FREE dozen on top of that.  Because achieving that super hero physique, starts with cannonballing 24 doughnuts, straight into your fucking feed hole.

And now, this is how I celebrate this wonderdull occasion.  Pictures of comically overweight people.

I hope they're not at a beach near a krispy kreme franchise.  These lovely ladies look like they can each murder about 4 doz' 

Okay, I'm one picture in and I feel like I should explain myself.  What I'm doing here is something called "fat shaming".  Yes it may seem mean, but you don't understand.  I'm a horrible person.

"That's no moon"

I mean c'mon.  Would ya look at the size of that food locker.  I say he buys 3 doz', get 3 free.  Right as he's on his 68th glazed doughnut, he'll go into a diabetic como, and have nightmares about not being able to finish those last 4 doughnuts.

everyone should have a goal in life.

I mean, what can you say about this guy? He looks like a fun time, and I feel bad about saying anything too mean. I'm gonna say he would buy the dozen, get the free dozen, but tell himself, he's gonna share 'em with friends.

that full stage curtain you wearing, somehow looks too revealing on you mam.

Well would you look a this heart breaker? She looks like she might be the entrepreneurial  type.  BBW hooking during the night, cooking meth during the day.  Because to steal a joke from squeezer.  "Meth is the only thing she can cook, without eating it right away"  But really.  She's gotta eat at least 4 dozen to maintain this physique.

Okay, I'm finished.  And in the end, who am I to judge.  I'm killing myself slowly with alcohol.  We all have our vices.  And if sam adams has a buy 12 get 12 beers deal, ya'll know I'd be all over that.  Well, to even the playing field, I am currently working on a post detailing the 7 hours I spent in a strip club on Sunday night.  You know, the kind of thoughtful journalism that makes you really think.

And to keep with the "perv" motif I seem to have going on this blog, I'll leave you with a sexy gif*.

*my sexy Alice Eve .gif has been censored by NSFW pussies.  But don't worry, I'm working on a NSFW section for the site so I can post all the vulgarity I want.